Your Pet Loss Stories

'My Beloved Jake (Jakey Boy)'

by Vicki
(Cumbria, U.K)

Jake was nearly 17 years old when he died on Monday 15th December 2008 and I just can't believe he is not here with me, sitting on the sofa, having to have that physical contact he always needed.

His death was very sudden, something that you can never prepare yourself for and I am in bits wondering how I'm going to be able to cope without him, eating because I have to because I am over 6 months pregnant with my second child.

Jake was a Parson Russell Terrier and I'd had him from 12 weeks old when he could just about fit in my hand. Over the years we did everything together, I took him everywhere and we were always known as Vicki & Jake, from writing christmas and birthday cards to being well known through walking streets, beaches forests etc.

He used to help me decide potential/unsavoury boyfriends and he always had a 'say' in who I saw at the time. He got on so well with my now Husband that this was the deciding factor of us moving in together.

I became pregnant with my 1st child in 2005 and gave birth in May 2006. I had to stay in hospital for a week after the birth and I was beside myself wondering how Jake was coping without me and constantly missing him.

When we finally came home, Jake and I made such a big fuss of each other, crying and laughing and he bonded with the baby really well. He even took a step back so that I could give my child the love and attention she deserved and when she had gone to sleep, he would come to me to pick him up for a play & a cuddle.

Last Sunday was a normal day as so far as routine went. My Husband took Jake out for his evening walk and commented that he was longer than usual as Jake seemed a bit slower than normal. This could sometimes happen as Jake suffered from arthritis and when it was really cold he would stiffen up. However, when I came to move Jake from the sofa so I could sit beside him, he gave a massive yelp and lay back down again with a look of resignation in his eyes.

After checking him out I saw his chest and stomach area were 'dangling' as though filled with fluid. I immediately began to panic and tears filled my eyes, asking him what he had done to himself and really wanting to reassure him that everything was going to be ok.

My Husband prepared to take Jake to the vets, I carried him to the car, loving and kissing him. Imagine my relief and joy when 20 minutes later Jake came bounding up the path barking and happy that he was home again! The vet had explained he must have knocked and ruptured himself and after having a painkilling injection and medication of anti inflammatories he would be right as rain-there was life in the old boy yet!

Things looked good as Jake even came to sleep on the bed with us, a nightly ritual which meant he was feeling ok to climb the stairs and jump on the bed!

The next day however and Jake had definitely taken a massive turn for the worse. He wasn't aware of any of his surroundings, he was unable to move from his bean bag as his legs had totally frozen and so unable to go outside to toilet. I knew this was a really bad sign but I stayed calm for Jakes sake, wiping up his mess and talking to him all the time.

It was time to take him back to the vet and when he was sick (although he had eaten & drank nothing for 24 hours)this confirmed what I knew was going to happen. I hugged, kissed and talked to him and even in the back of my mind I knew he wouldn't be returning from the vet. I really wanted the miracle that had happened the previous night to happen again.

He has been gone two days now and I can't stop crying, eating little and wondering how the hell I can move on. A big part of my life has gone and it's so hard trying to be strong for my 2 1/2 year old. She knows Jake has gone to Heaven and she tried to talk to him on her toy phone last night.

I love and miss him so much and I hate the emptiness the house brings when there's only me here. I am a very strong person in general but I am in pieces and my head is a mess thinking about my gorgeous, intellectual fella and his departure.