Your Pet Loss Stories

'Devastated'

by Paul
(Melbourne, Australia)

Hi folks. I live in Melbourne, Australia and am shattered at the loss of a 'pet'. I put the word 'pet' in quotation marks because actually she wasn't my pet. But she felt like mine. I lived with a mate for 1½ years recently and during that time we both looked after his dogs. I'm now married and live in a suburb about a 15 minute drive away from my mate's place.

Recently we had 3 consecutive days of 40+ degrees celsius. On the third day of that 40+ degree weather I really wanted to go check on my mate's dogs as I guessed my mate would be at work, and likewise his new housemate.

I was worried how the dogs would cope in the heat as it reached 45 degrees - it's the first time we've ever had 3 consecutive days of such extreme heat - even though I knew they had plenty of shade and my mate would have given them water before he left for work.

But instead of going there I stayed home, as I was struggling with the heat myself partly because it was just so hot, and partly due to some heart problems.

Now I feel devastated as on that third day of the heatwave one of my mate's dogs died. I can't get it out of my head how she must have struggled in the heat, and if only I'd gone I may have been able to cool her down by putting some water on her and kept her alive.

She wasn't very old, probably 10 years or so I guess, all I can think of now is that she could have had many more fruitful years ahead of her if only I'd gone to check on her. I've always said that whatever is wrong with a human (in my case the struggle with the heat), animals rely on us for water & food, they can't open the tap themselves or open a can of dog food.

I can't get the guilt out of my mind. I feel so responsible for the suffering that she must have gone thru in her final moments, and for her ultimate and untimely death.

If anyone can help my grieving I'd appreciate it immensely as I'm not coping at all, I can't sleep properly at night and I know I need to move on but I don't know how to do it.

God bless.