Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Doodley & James', USA

Doodley my male Maine Coon with medium length hair mostly black, white and a little silver/grey.

When did you lose Doodley?

Sept 10th, around 7:30pm

At what stage of pet loss grief do you feel you are currently at?

Depression as I had found out several months ago he had cancer.

Doodley and James's Story so far

My buddy Doodley died earlier this evening, Sept 10th after battling stomach cancer for some time. I came home from work tonight and he was just completely incapacitated. Yesterday he was jumping all around, getting on the back of my chair while I worked. While I knew he had the disease I didn't know when it would come get him. Tonight it did.

I got Doodley and his sister about 11 years ago from a friend. I was a single male, didn't want any pets at the time, but my friend talked me into getting these two cats, that I would later name Doodley and Lil Bit.

Prior to that they were not something I really wanted and would eventually give them away a year or so after I had gotten them. I gave my cats away on a weekend and when I got home from work that Monday it was then I realized I missed them. So I immediately called the person I gave them to and got my cats back.

From there was born a wonderful relationship, 10 years full of so much warmth, fun, laughter, goofy moments and warm moments. I went from being selfish to being so concerned for my cats, so into them, loving them and seemingly getting that love in return. My two cats took me through the single life to marriage to kids. And every step of the way they were beside me.

Several months ago Doodley got really sick and I took him to the vet and he was diagnosed with stomach cancer. I was heart-broken barely able to control my emotions. I determined I would put him to sleep as he wasn’t doing well. The night before he slept in the bed with me, I held him, I hugged him and yes I cried. I told him, “I am sorry” over and over again as if somehow I was to blame. All I knew is his pain was my pain.

That next day I took him in to put him to sleep, he seemed to be responsive and the 2nd vet asked if I wanted to wait and prescribe some other medicine. I agreed and took him back home. I felt reprieved but wondered just when the other shoe would drop. I kept him on his medicine religiously and for the next 3-4 months he seemed to be to be fine. He was jumping around and was so connected to me. He was virtually everywhere I was.

Prior to then he would spend a lot of alone time, but not recently. Not once did he indicate he was almost ready to die. He had thrown up some and that was always the sign that told me, ‘he is not sick’. But his face, his eyes…were all joy and happiness. I made sure to pick him up and hold him every chance I got. The last 3 months were a godsend as I am quite sure Doodley went into the afterlife knowing his owner really loved him, such that cats can interpret love.

Tonight was it. I spent a little less than an hour laying beside him as he gasped and yowled in biting pain. I didn’t know what to do as the vet was closed so I couldn’t put him down and the thought of him being in pain all night just bothered me. But I could sense he was not going to make it very far so I stayed with him, rubbing his cheeks as the last breaths left his body. I could only be there for him. I could not relieve his pain as much as I wanted. I just was there for him just as he was there for me.

I have a feeling he had not been feeling good, but he fought with all his might and gave me a great last 3 months. I became closer with that animal than at any previous time and when he left this world he wasn’t alone. A lot of good came out of this…I didn’t have to euthanize him, until the end his final days appeared to be chock full of happiness and joy, and when it came time for him to go he was not alone.

I’ll miss him and I’ll give his sister a big ole’ hug tonight before I lay my head on the pillow knowing my life has just lost one very important member. Godspeed Doodley, take my tears with you.

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