When I Had Nowhere To Turn...

by Dayle Obrien
(Watertown, CT)

I lost my best friend a little over a year ago, and it totally devastated me. Some people just could not understand why I could not just get over it. I became so depressed and couldn't eat, couldn't go on with life. I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up because waking up was just too painful. I cried constantly.

I finally did go to my doctor, who asked me if I got another dog. I had gotten 2 new puppies. I never wanted one to be alone again. Or to have something happen and me be alone again. The doctor asked me about friends. I had my church family. Well, he said, I was doing everything I could and should. That was it! He had no other suggestions on how to get through this pain.

There was nothing for people who had lost their furbabies. And my little buddy, he WAS like a child to me. I needed him, just as much, if not more, than he needed me. He had gotten me through such horrible times in my life. He was there when no one else was. I became very ill, and friends finally stopped coming by. Little by little, everyone disappeared from my life. Maybe it hurt them too much to see me that way. But my little buddy, he was always by my side. When I wanted to just give up, I knew how much he would miss me, and it kept me going. But when I lost him, it was the same for me. I missed him terribly.

I found Pet-Loss-Matters.com. I read about how other people felt. I saw that I was not crazy, that so so many people felt the same way that I did. Reading about how others felt and seeing that they somehow still were going on with life, helped me. To be able to write about my little boy, almost made me feel as if I was immortalizing him in some way. Some people wrote kind and encouraging words, that helped me to realize that I had done everything I could have done to save my boy. That helped me more than I could ever say.

The Pet Loss Matters site was the only place I could say what I wanted to say without judgement. I pray all the time that this site will always be here. I'm so afraid to lose it. I still read about how others feel, and sometimes write to them too, and if I have a memory... I can go and write it. I hope that it continues on, so that anyone who goes through this kind of loss can find somewhere to find some comfort.

As for myself, I really can't say for sure, that I would be where I am today without a place I could go for some solace in knowing that I was NOT alone. Thank you Bunny... for your empathy and compassion for others in their time of need. You are a wonderful person. Please.. keep up your good work.

Sincerely Dayle