Your Pet Loss Diaries

'KOKO & William', USA

About KOKO

KOKO is a short hair domestic gray tabby, he is still my heart and always will be. I miss him still so much we slept together, ate together, I miss him greeting me at the door when I come home, his playful antics, the love of my life to be honest, I loved that cat more than people.

When did you lose KOKO?

I lost KOKO about two months ago after I took him in to have his Hyperthyroidism looked at, if I had only addressed it sooner maybe I would still have him, I blamed myself, as much as I did over the years for him I felt there was something I could do, he was diagnosed with a large tumor that was on top of the Hyperthyroidism, I was devastated, heartbroken, and holding him in my arms and looking him in his eyes telling him how much I loved him while the Doctor administered the euthanization drug, I felt my insides rip out, I wanted to stick that needle in my arm to end the pain that I felt.

At which stage of pet loss grief do you feel you are currently at?

I don't know I'm trying to hold back the tears now just telling you about this. I take one day at a time it will take time because my cats are my life, and no person or another cat can replace what we had, I was so true to him you would think that me were married, I didn't really play with other cats cause If he smelled them on me, he would let me know by hissing, and scratch me when I petted him, so I just didn't let other cats get close to me I was his and he let me know that.

KOKO and William's Story so far

I submitted a story about two months ago around the time of his passing. My Cat Is My Heart by William Daye of Santa Rosa is the name of the story. What really made a difference was the personal response I received from Bunny as I mention in my story (you have to read it) I'm a combat trained solider, I was assigned to a Special Forces Group, U.S. Navy Seal Team and nothing prepared me for the lost of the love of my life. You would think that I'm talking about a wife or girlfriend, I have neither at the moment, for years it's just been me and my cats.

Prior to his passing I spent two weeks online searching for comfort crying for hours on end. I shut everyone out of my life cause I spent every minute with him cause I knew what the outcome would be and I couldn't accept that. Thanks to this website and Bunny's personal response I have been finding comfort a little at a time, give it a chance and I know that YOU too my also find your comfort zone, God bless you all, and may he provide you the comfort you seek, cause I know deep in my heart that I will be with KOKO again and he is waiting for me, and I can't wait till I see him again, I sure that he was an angel and I was blessed to have him in my life for 12 years.

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