Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Khadeja & Gangster', USA

About Gangster

Gangster Riggs my black and tan German Shepherd mix.

When did you lose Gangster?

May 12 2009

At which stage of pet loss grief do you feel you are currently at?

Some extremely high depression and anger. I'm in the highest stage of pet loss right now my dog's been dead for about three months now and I miss him so much it's hard to carry on without him. I'm getting a shirt with his picture on it. I miss my dog so much I wish he could have stayed with me on earth longer I dream about him sometimes.

Khadejah and Gangster's Story so far

I had Gangster for about a year and a half. Gangster was the best dog in the world he loved to play fetch and everything we were the best of friends. I'd give or do anything to get Gangster back but if I had the chance I would have to say no, it's better on the other side. This world is too wicked and evil I don't want Gangster to have to live in a world like this.

God is with me now watching over him I know god took Gangster back for a reason I just wish I knew why my Grandmother was making Gangster suffer keeping him outside all day on that chain. I know Gangster didn't like that so that's why if I could I won't bring him back. He doesn't want to live on that chain anymore and when he was a puppy my Grandmother used to beat him all the time, her and my Sister. I stopped it as much I could but when I was at school who knows what they were doing to my poor baby. So that's why it's better on the other side.

Gangster knew oh much I loved him I would give my life for that dog to protect him it's just that I couldn't save him from the animal control and I feel so sad because of that. I mean I'm only 15 but still I wish there was something I could have done.

I lost him May 12 2009 my Grandmother hated him so much and called the animal control. They shot my dog with four sleep darts he won't go to sleep so they lifted him up with this net and threw him in their truck. He bumped his head because they threw him so hard, they said they were going to put him down then chop his head off and send it to a lab to see if he had rabies. They called the next day and said he didn't have rabies this lady then came to my house to get my dog's paperwork and go to the animal shelter where my Mom got him from the lady said she was going to tell those people why they would let a German Shepherd go to a family. I know that if my dog's other brother's and sister's were there they probably were all put to sleep without ever experiencing a loving home.

I hate my Grandmother and Sister so much for putting my dog to sleep he was only a puppy 2 years and 10 months old. I miss him dearly I dream about him sometimes and I'm writing a book based on him it's called 'Gangster's story' and it will be published soon. My dog may be gone but I know he's with me, I just can't see him or ever touch him again. I still have his brush with all his fur in it i'm going to one day buy a locket to put his fur in. Once I do that I'm going to wear the locket everywhere I go and I know that when my time comes to pass away I will then be reunited with my dog that I love with all my heart. I love you so much Gangster see you on the other side.

Me and my dog Gangster were best friends I got him from this shelter near the pet cemetery in Florenc sc he was a shy puppy but he soon got out of that in a few months anyway. We found out that he had worms when we took him to the vet he later got treated the same day and he began to feel much better, he wasn't sick anymore. I remember when he eat all my Sister's chinese food it was so funny.

I'm sorry but thats all I can write for now, I can't write anymore I'm now overwhelmed with that pain of loss when I think about my fallen love. I'm so sorry everyone I'll have to write again later on when the pain leaves me for a bit. I mean my dog has been gone for three months but the pain still feels so fresh like I lost him yesterday. Everyday I relive that horrible day when I lost him, I'm so sorry but I just can't write anymore right now my eyes are starting to tear up again and the pain is coming back much stronger then before.

Click here to return to the Your Pet Loss Diaries Index Page

Click here to return to the Pet Loss Matters Homepage