Your Pet Tributes

by Winona Utterback
(Milton, Fl.)

My Little Princess Who Became Queen

Her name was Tiki and when she was born there was no new paper head lines no birth day party no songs written about her, no death Certificate, no write up in the news paper.

And the day she passed away there was no funeral and know one knew about her, but family and friends no one there to kiss and hold her foot at the end, but her mom who held her long after her spirit left her and sang to her with tears of great loss and grief. But to me her mom she was a bright star the shined all the time with love and a I'll guard you against all mom. So I gave her the love and care and she did the same for me she made my life so much better every day she was in it.

A lot of people do not understand the grief one goes through over a the loss of a long time pet it's just like losing a family member, but worse because losing a human people understand your grief, losing a pet they don't. So you cry alone and want to scam your pain out loud for all to hear, but you can't so you cry alone and hurt in silence.

She was 6 weeks old and a tiny little ball of fur the day I got her. Right away she won my heart and was always at my side. I did Native American Art and Rode Barrel Racing so right away we hit the road first trip was South Fl. Pow Wow and she was mom's little helper. It was cold and I could not find a sweater to fit her so I cut up a sock and made her her first sweater.

At the horse shows when it was her mom's true to run one of my friends would hold her and she would watch for me she knew mom rode the gray horse.
At about a year old she decided she was a killer chihuahua. I remember a horse she sitting with my friends talking all of a sudden one of my friends reached out to pet her and she bit and growled and sent 4 scamming girls running up the bleachers screaming.

Then there was the time we went to the store and a big guy said of I'm not afraid of a little dog so I said go ahead put your hand in the window, boy did he change his mind about small dog's.

At a year old I got her sister and she taught her to play with toys, but she told her that the mom was hers and she would not share. So her sister soon learned to give in to her sister the Queen. She never liked to share her mom and she made up her mind that it was her job to take care of her mom so she would not let anyone to close to her mom or her mom's car.

She loved to ride the horse with her mom and the lawn mower, and to go for long or short car rides.
At about 2 yrs old I remember how she hated the cats that use to be outside her yard. Then one day she got out of the yard and a cat was outside the gate so she thought she would eat up the cat, but the cat almost ate her up.

Then one day she got out of the yard again and was going to eat up the dog next door (a much bigger dog) but once again she almost got eaten. She was always so brave, nothing scared her, she was the Queen and thought all should obey her, she was that way from the day I got her a little would be Queen and I feel in love with her and she loved and owned me right away. If she wanted something she would stop her little feet and bark and gave you this look like well you going to understand me or what. She would wake me up at whatever hour of the night she wanted water and pat me with her little foot till I woke up and gave her her water, which I learned to keep on the night stand really fast.

She just had her way of getting her way on any thing and not giving in till you figured it out. She never acted like a dog so I never thought of her as one I just thought of her as my child.

I remember the day she let me know mom I don't feel good we always had a bond where I just knew if something was wrong with her. So I took her to the vet and he said she had a bad liver and other things and gave us only 6 months to a year. So I took his pills for her and got pictures of us done. But I just could not believe what he said and one of the pills made her have stomach cramps
when I called him about it he did not seem to listen so I looked up her pills on the net and found the one that was the cause.

I was very upset and had lost my trust in my vet so I called my other vet and he sent me to Auburn University in Ala. They were great after 2 days of tests they told me she had a Collapsing Trachea, the Collapsing Trachea I knew about since she was a year old. The Vets there told me we had years yet. So we went home feeling really good and started using only Dr. Hillman in Pensacola, fL. He was wonderful with her and me and we had many more good years, but then her heart enlarged more and he gave us a year to 2 more years - I was hoping for many more.

But then her sisters started dying. The first to go was her sister 1 year younger sister because of the no salt diet Tiki was on she started eating dirt and we lost her. Then her other sisters started dying of kidney failure. And when the last one died Tiki got depressed, then she started getting sick I took her in to the Vet on a Saturday Jan 12,2012 and she was in so much pain my Vet worked so hard to save her and she fought so hard to live. I went every day and sat with her in my arm's with her IV and held her every day, but on the 18th in my dream she told me she was tired and wanted to go play with her sister's so I knew the 19th when I went to hold her it would be the last time I got to.

At least the day before she was awake long enough to kiss me and roll on her back asking me to rub her tummy before the pain started again and they had to give her a pain shot. That last kiss is the best memory I have left of a terrible day, but it's a memory I'll always carry in my heart.
As the Vet put her to sleep in my arms I cried and sang our song to her (You are my sunshine my only sunshine) and I held her till they closed then I brought her home and kept her in the freezer till I could get her to the the crematory she is her with me and when I pass away our body's will be put back together as it should be.

I cry every night and some days I miss looking down and there she would be. And some nights I wake up from hearing her cries of so much pain it fills me with so much guilt.

It's hard to say just what our bond was, but I was never alone and when people, family, friends or life let me down she was always there to make it better, as I was always there for her.

And I'm sorry to all my family, friends loved ones who are in heavan now are maybe ahead of me, but when I get there I'm running by all of you to get my Tiki in my arms again and her kisses first.