Your Pet Tributes

by Laura Shapiro
(New Orleans, LA USA)

My dearest Fat Fat,

It only been 4 days since you left me so unexpectedly. I'm having a very hard time understanding why you didn't tell me that you didn't feel well, or give me some clue that Saturday morning would have been our last walk. I would have let you roll in the Monkey Grass for as long as you wanted to. Other humans may not understand that, but you and I knew we had a special language and you told me things when I needed to know them.

I'm only starting to comprehend what a huge part of my life you were. I keep thinking I'm hearing you in our house. I rush home from work to be sure you have a walk in time - something that I wasn't always perfect about while you were here. I'm so sorry for that. You were truly the light of my life and I can only pray that you knew how much I love you.

There are so many things that I will miss, and I haven't even begun to understand that yet. Mostly, though, I will miss our lazy Sundays. We both napped and watched bad TV, and you would rest your chin on the end of the couch, bathed in sunlight. That's how I will remember you; you were so beautiful.

I will miss those hot summer days that you refused to come inside even though your little body wasn't built for the heat. I will miss your hamhock legs and the dinasour chirps. I will miss the irritated gurgle noises when I wouldn't chase you for one of my stolen socks.

I am so proud of your kind spirit and all of the joy you brought to my friends and strangers to both of us alike. We never met a person who didn't love you - even the ones who didn't understand your snorts and snoring and how beautiful you were to me.

You see, my love, I knew about you so long before you ever came into my life. I feel in love with you when I was 5 years old. It only took me another 20 years to find you. We met when you were only 3 weeks old, and didn't even have your baby teeth yet. But you chewed my chin and I knew we were supposed to be together. You were the biggest, and the toughest of all of your siblings. You pulled their ears and insisted that they play with you at 3 AM... despite their resistance and desire to sleep through the night. Your mommy is not unlike that. Maybe that's why we got along so well.

There is so much more I want to say to you. And, I will, in time. My heart is broken without you, in a way I have never felt before. More than any relationship with a boy ending. Because you really are my family and my friend. I don't know how I will get through anything now that you had to leave.

I'm grateful to have had the time we did, but am so destroyed that it was cut short without any indication. I hope you are in a heaven that is filled with socks and important paper to steal, filled with sunshine that will never make you overheat, filled with love and scratches from everyone who has made it there before I will.

My Gracie. I love you so much and I will never forget you as long as I live.