Your Pet Loss Stories

by Nikki
(Dorset)

Willow had to be put down really unexpectedly on Monday 20th May 2013. She had appeared to be a bit off colour for the last few days so I took her to the vets. They did bloods and urine tests and informed me she has chronic kidney failure and must be feeling really poorly. I asked the vet what she would do if she were hers and she replied that she would have her put down now as the readings were so high there was nothing they could do. I couldn't take it in and couldn't stop crying.

However I had to do the best for my lovely willow so agreed. Fortunately I was able to call a friend to come and support me. I stroked her till the end but it was all so quick I don't feel I've really accepted its happened. She was only 10 years old.

Her sister, Jess passed suddenly in her sleep on 30 January 2010 - she died on my bed - until today it was the worst thing I've had to deal with. I was told it was probably a heart attack. I had Willow tested then and was told she had a chance of getting HCM. I've lived for three years worrying the same thing would happen. I can't believe she then has died so suddenly of kidney failure. I feel inconsolable. I've no pets now, live alone and the house does not seem like a home.

Willow really came into her own after Jess passed. They had never got on. She was such a beautiful cat and so gentle. She loved being groomed - went mad for it as soon as the comb was out. Loved sitting all night on my lap and used to follow me around. I just can't believe she's not here now. At bedtime she'd jump on and off the bed then finally settle at the end of the bed - strangely in the spot Jess died. Sometimes I'd wake with her asleep beside my pillow. I just don't know how I'm going to cope - it feels so life changing. Not helped by it being my birthday the day after - with so many people telling me to have fun - certainly not celebrated it.

Friends are being great but at the end of the day I feel so lost and alone because I am.

Anyway rest in peace my lovely Willow. I so hope you are now out of pain and I'm so sorry I didn't realise you were unwell. I keep worrying about your sudden and expected passing and that we really didn't get a chance to say goodbye or prepare, even though I was there with you till the end, you must have felt distressed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being such a wonderful companion. I hope you and Jess are now together and are getting on. Until we meet again. You meant everything to me and always will.

Love you always, Mummy xxx.