After 14 years my best girlfriend, Princess walked across the Rainbow Bridge, not happily, with me holding her and telling her how much I will always love her. She developed a "bump" on top of her skull bone 3 years ago. It stayed small and the vet felt it was not a problem and to leave it alone. She was 12 or 13 when it appeared.
Within 5 months it went from dime size to 10 centemeters and fully encompassed 3/4 of her dainty little head and into the right side of her head marching toward her jaw bone and occular bones. She stopped eating and drinking and relieving herself for a week. I tried every tempting meal I could think of and she "pleased me" with a few licks then looked at her plate as if were full of demons.
We talked and sang together and I held her close during those last days. She agreed when I asked her if it was time by putting her dainty paws up to my neck and looking into my eyes. I had to believe she was o.k. with it. The future was bleak and she began sitting statue-like not moving for more than 12 hours with her head in a half turned position.
Yesterday I wrapped her in my comfy robe that she loved to "knead" going back to her happy days as a kitten. I covered her eyes at the vets because she looked at the white walls and was scared. She didn't want the vet (who is a sweet, concerned woman) to touch her leg and from that point on my world exploded and I wanted to run home with her.
I left her hissing and vocalizing against what would happen or just the insult of being "handled." My heart broke and is still breaking. I didn't have a choice. My girl was hurting and would only get worse. People say it's the kind thing to do rather than watch them suffer. I hope so because I didn't want her to leave me feeling deceived. Maybe she had another week left or less ...
I know what you went through and feel as you know how I feel now. Maybe it's the kinder thing to do but it doesn't make it hurt or break your heart any less. I hope you are doing well. I know, in time, I will feel less pain and more pleasant memories of my Princess but I will never stop missing her friendship. Trish
"Rahasia" by: Mike
I understand your pain, today is day 10 since we put down "Precious" our 12 year old Lilac Point Siamese, she too was very sick, my heart goes out to you, very tough thing to go through. My grief is still very real, but you as we also gave her the ultimate gift of love by putting her before you.
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