Your Pet Loss Stories

by Lisa Thomas
(Las Vegas, Nevada. USA)

Well where do I start, On Thanksgiving in 2008 my room mate's friend came over and she saw my poodle Pettie, Pettie was playing with a ball by his self and she said she has a dog that looks just like Pettie but she was going to take to the pound cuz her daughter has 4 dogs and she just moved in with her and she said her dog Doodles was just too rough with them.

Well I asked her if she could bring him by on her way so I could meet him. Pettie needed someone to play with and to keep him company when I was at work. So the next day she walked in with Doodles he was the cutest fur baby I have seen and I knew from that moment on he was meant to be mine.

Well needless to say Doodles wasn't having any of it, he sat on the end of the couch for 2 days staring at the door just waiting for my room mate's friend to come back. I felt so sorry for him, I thought no matter how much I love this dog no matter how long I have him he is always going to be waiting for her. I'd have to carry him outside, carry him to the food bowl and water cuz all he wanted to do was sit and stare at the door.

Well one day like 4 days after he came to live with me I was coming home and when I pulled in the driveway I saw my room mate's friends car and I thought "oh great now I will have to start all over again" and sure enough when I walk in there was Doodles laying in her lap and just as I was about to say something Rufus jumped down and ran over to me jumping and doing his happy dance and he followed me from that moment on.

Oh and from then on he was known as Rufus, hence 'my Rufy Dufy' he looks just like Walter Matthau. He was my rufy goofy guy, when I got him he was full of matts and he had stickers in his fur and I noticed his tail could hardly wag but after a good bath and a hair cut he had full movement of his tail. I don't think he ever really used it cuz he wagged it in such a funny way. Needless to say Rufus became a part of my family.

About 6 months after Rufus came to live with Pettie and me Pettie became the proud daddy of 6 chuaua/poodle puppys, and of course I had to keep one and he is Louie, and from the day Louie was old enough to come live with us Rufus was his mommy. I swear I think Rufus was a mommy in his past life, he would always be at Louie's side.

Well as the years went by we moved from Palm Springs Calif. to Las Vegas, Nevada we have been here about 3 years now. But on April-15, 2012 my beloved Rufus, my Rufy Goofy Guy had to be put to sleep because of kidney failure and an advanced case of diabetes. The vet said he was not going to make a easy or quick recovery, that if we processed with treatment it would take weeks just to get his Glucose levels in normal range and then and only then could she start to work on his failing Kidneys, but she said it would be most likely too late by then.

So I had to make the most painful decision I ever had to make, with my beloved Rufus in my arms he was put to sleep. I don't really remember it is like a bad nightmare. It all happened so quick I thought he was going to be ok. I thought he would get a shot, some medication and in a few days he would be back to his old self, boy was I wrong.

I keep going over every single word my vet has said and the quilt I feel, maybe if I would of just tried a little longer or maybe if I would of gotten him in to the vets sooner, was he ready to go? Did I do what was best for him? Could he have handled all the tests and the weeks away from home? There are a million questions I have, a million "what if's" that I just don't know.

At the time all I knew was that I couldn't let him suffer any longer he was in bad shape and I knew, well part of me knows it was the right thing to do. I would give my life for just one more hug or just one more lick from that big ol tongue of his. This coming Wedensday he will be at the bridge 4 months and the pain in my heart, the loneliness I feel, the emptiness in my house is unbearable, I have cried every day since 4/15/12.

I will never get over losing Rufus and even tho the pain is overwhelming my biggest fear is the day I wake up and the pain is gone. I know that sounds strange but the pain, it's like it is keeping Rufus close to me and without it I'm afraid he will fade away.

Rufus is the first fur baby I have ever lost and even tho there are 3 fur babies now, Pettie, Louie and my Penny Poo I know I will be faced with losing them I think I will be better at the end to make the right choices for these 3. Well I hope I am anyway. Well there's my story of the most sweetest loving gentlest fur baby ever,

I love you my Rufy Goofy Guy,

Love always Your Mommy xoxox