Your Pet Loss Diaries

July 24, 2012

by Tammy

I miss you so much, I can't stop crying, but I do this only at night so the girls don't see me. I know you were super sensitive to my crying, you always laid your head on me & looked up at me with your beautiful big eyes as if to say "I'm here with you Mommy, it will be okay."

I miss you sleeping with me every night behind my back like I had trained you when you were a little puppy. I hear you following me still, your little toenails "clicking" on the tile floor. The girls hear you barking all the time, seems so loud & clear at times I hear it at the same time. Every time we drop an ice cube we call your name waiting for you with your wagging tail & excitement to come get it. The birds whistle for you to come when I open the back sliding door & miss sitting on your back talking & playing while I was gone from the house.

All the neighborhood kids cried with us when they found out you were gone forever. They miss you chasing the tennis ball to bring back 100x. I won't go back to the resturant I was at when I found out you were killed. I can't believe somebody would run over you not once but twice & you still were alive but paralyzed & probably thinking where's my mommy & daddy?

I'm so sorry baby I was not here to comfort you in your last hrs after 15 years of babying you about everything, I feel so guilty & heartless, it was an extremely careless way you died.. I know you are in heaven waiting for me, they say there's no sadness up there but I know you, you are sad without your Mommy & I'm sorry. I've seen a dog today that resembles you, not as beautiful of course but cute, I thought of you. I miss you.