Your Pet Loss Diaries

Thursday Sep 24, 2009

by Sharran Singh
(Melbourne, Victoria, Australia)

It's 4 weeks today, since Thumper was taken away from us. At work, although it kills me, I have to put on a brave face but in the evenings, I start getting emotional and extremely upset. Cos it would be time to come home and he's not there. I always couldn't wait to come home to let him out and to give him a grape, his favourite treat. He loved watching tv with us and he'd sit on my lap and he'd give my hand a nudge and put his head underneath as if to tell me.. start patting/stroking me. He loved it. Whenever I stopped, he'd start licking my hand and nudge me again and put his head under my hand again..

I'd make excuses to not go out or if I had to, to come home early, cos Thumper was at home, waiting. I'd wake up early on the weekends although I wanted to sleep in.. But I wanted you to enjoy the garden outside, eat your grass, do your rolls and your bunny skips.. And you'd know that it was the weekend, cos you'd run down the stairs and wait in front of the sliding door cos you'd know that I was going to open it to let you out. You wouldn't do that on weekdays.

It's still so difficult to come in the house. He's suppose to be upstairs in his room. We'd come in and I'd say.. "Hi Baby, We're home!!" and I'd run upstairs and he'd be waiting for us to open up his fence. We have left everything the way it is, in his room.

The pain is unbearable, and I feel so lost. I just don't know how to handle this pain. I miss you so very much, baby boi.

Thumper, died 4 weeks ago at 12.33pm. I was on the way to see my Husband in SFO. We were going to Hawaii. We cut our trip short and rushed back. We suspected malpractice. Apparently, Thumper suffered a cardiac arrest. We suspected that they overdosed him or gave him more than what a bunny could take. They were trying to reach me. They got my daughter instead and said that Thumper has had a cardiac arrest, and asked if we wanted them to resusitate him. Why wouldn't they just do it, what is there to ask???? Something's not right.

They said that the nurse was with Thumper and he just dropped. She must have given the wrong dosage or they would have found his lifeless body. We don't have answers.. but it just doesn't add up..

We needed to get an autopsy to find out how Thumper died.

We got his ashes a week later. My Husband and I rushed back to have special prayers & bury Thumper's ashes in our garden. It was very difficult. Tasha brought his ashes in the car when she came to pick us up at the airport. I asked her, "Where's Thumper?" and she said, "He's in the front, Mummy." And there he was with a seat belt around the box. He came back in a tiny box, on it a sticker with his name, "THUMPER".

I just held him all the way back home. Remembering, how he used to love his car rides. We'd take him for short drives, when we needed to go to the milkbar or to the supermarket. Tasha would drive and I would hold him up high, so that he could look out and he loved it.

My Husband had to go back to the U.S. 3 days later. But before he left, we got this beautiful sandstone slate and painted it with the words, RIP Thumper 13.04.2007 - 27.08.2009 and bought a beautiful angel overlooking our Thumper. The spot we chose was in the corner, under his favourite tree, a beautiful japanese maple. But it's still bare.. new shoots are starting to appear now. The tree is a young tree, planted in May. One of the branches is like how his ears were... He'd have one ear down and one at an angle. It was like the hands of a clock. It'd be either 5 o'clock or 7 o 'clock. And the branch of our Thumpie Tree is like that too. Just 1 branch pointing at an angle.

I'm shocked at how people can be so insensitive. They keep asking, "What's wrong with you?"... I look at them in disbelief and say.. "I'M GRIEVING!!!"

I'm missing you so much, Thumper. I Love you.. I Love You.. I Love! You were my companion, my pet soul mate, my angel. You made me laugh. Ever since you came into my life.. my depression was cured. The very things that you made your mark on, are the very things we treasure now. The bitten wires, the holes in our clothes, my ipod wire, my phone charger.. and I'm still finding out more. I realised that the artificial butterfly on the cherub's hand had half a wing missing... No wonder you were looking very suspicious when you were next to it.. last month. And I also found the string at the back of the painting that I needed to hang, was bitten in half.. thanks to you.

You were my Angel on earth.. and now.. you're our Angel in Heaven.

Lots of love from Grandma
xxxxxx