Your Pet Loss Diaries

by Tricia
(Augusta GA)

Today was my first feeling OK day. Knowing that I have to stay in the land of the living, knowing it would be so easy to fall into the bottomless pit of despair.

I still cried today, I suppose I will for a while. I miss him so very much and I am very much aware tomorrow could be a "down day", it is an hour by hour process.

Today I saw something so sweet, I have a cat named Molly, haven't had her long but they were fast friends. She waited on the shelf where I have Rex's ashes and I lifted her up after her trying for a min or so but it was too high for her. She got up there and just rubbed herself all over his urn and picture.

I got my video out and I had to smile and tell her I understand I miss him too. She knew he was there...I am still in awe of the scene. So sweet.

Is that my "He is OK sign?" I asked him to jingle his collar (his 2 tags clink together). But I find myself picking them up to hear the usual clinking that I have come to know so well. So hearing that noise helps me somehow.

Tomorrow is 1 week out... this time last week I was saying my goodbyes.

I do have a lot to be thankful for. I got the chance to spend about 20 hours with him telling him goodbye and I loved him. Kissing him, laying his head on my shoulder, just me and Rex and all the love in the world! Some people never get that chance and I know that has to add more hurt.

I am trying to look at his picture or when I am having a thought of him to say out loud "We had 17 wonderful years together and Rex, I know you want me happy."

I miss him with every breath I take, and I always will.