Your Pet Loss Diaries

Nov 6, 2012

I woke up at 5:30 AM this morning hearing the jingle of your collar. I couldn't get back to sleep because it was a sound that I truly miss. I also heard you eating too.

I'm still tearful and trying to get through the day without tearing up, but it's been a challenge because I miss you so much. I miss that sweet sweet face of yours; the bright eyes looking up at me with a smile (you knew you were truly loved and it showed).

Christopher misses you too. He has had a hard time going back to his room at night because he has been expecting you to be there waiting for him. He also wakes up often during the night to reach over and touch you, but you're not there.

This week has been tough because I've had the urge to go back and check on you in Christopher's room, but you're not there. You were always so quiet after the onset of Vestibular so as a mom I felt that I needed to go check on you if you weren't near... habit I guess.

I've been having this dream lately that you and I are walking through a mountain meadow (similar to the land I want to buy outside of Telluride). You're off your leash and you're walking at my side. You don't run ahead of me; you stay by my side. As you are walking, you look up at me like you always did when I took you for a walk when you were here with us. You were happy and smiling. I was extremely happy to walk with you again. Although it's a feel good dream, it's a tough dream because when I wake up I know you won't be there.

I've missed the last two weeks of the pet loss support group because I thought I was going to be okay, but I may still need to go.

I loved you so much (I still love you) and I miss you just as much.