Your Pet Loss Diaries

June 30, 2011

by Kristy Pelkey
(Livonia, Michigan)

I am lost today and grieving terribly. The house is too quiet. Harpo the Golden Retriever is here and I try to make my voice sound happy, but I am not doing well. He's heard me cry for Sophie. Fritz the Cairn Terrier is here, Mike's dog, but it's not the same.

"Sophie where are you? what happened? I didn't know you were sick? You never led me to believe there was a problem! You bolted out the door for walks and you acted like everything was ok. Oh my sweet sweet Sophie I miss you so much. Why did you leave me. I need you honey.

You bed is here. I can't do anything with it now. Your big food bowl is here and your toys....

I woke up this morning and you were not by the side of the bed for me to touch. What am I going to do without your love?

How will I go on without you by my side? I feel sick, I can't eat.

For seven years we were best friends. Over seven years honey. You know I put you first. Are you somewhere happy? How can you be more happy than when you were with me? I'm sorry if you were in any kind of pain, I didn't know!! A mass in your trachea? I saw it after they took it out...it was big and I didn't know honey. Awww Sophie baby.... my heart hurts for you..

I love you forever. My life will never be the same. Never. Never. Never.

I will try to be happy for Harpo. I walked him last night. But when we got home, you were not here in the window waiting for us. I was sad. I will walk him again this evening. Ok? I will try and make him a happier dog. I promise. He is a good dog. I have always loved Harpo. He isn't like you, but you know we had a special bond. I will love him even more, I will show him more love.

I miss you girl. You are my heart.