Your Pet Loss Diaries

by Lee
(Sperry, OK USA)

It is 2 weeks today that Jeter was put to sleep. I cried yesterday for him. The crying sessions are short and I feel like I am beginning to let him go.

I still feel emptiness at home, especially when I am outside playing with the others or walking by his grave. I miss him so much. Griffey, our 9 yr old lab seems to be missing him too. They were raised together and he seems a little depressed to me. I don't doubt it. I try to give him extra attention everyday but I know he's lonely.

The 2 younger dogs stay in a fenced off area until I get home and Griffey is free to go wherever he wants. He doesn't ever go farther than the fields and pond. I feel sorry for him. Jeter was so much company to both of us.

The thought that makes me cry is the memory of his death. It keeps playing in my head when I think about him and it bothers me. I keep thinking of the look of uncertainty in his eyes when he looked at me and the pain from the multiple needle sticks when the vet couldn't find his vein. Then I think of the awful twitching for the last 15 minutes. I had no control over any of it and I felt so helpless. Even now, I am tearing up while I write this thinking of it. The last thing I wanted to do was to see Jeter in more pain before I had to make that awful decision.

My heart still aches from missing him....I wonder how long this will linger....I know I will always miss him but some relief would be nice. I miss my Jete-Jete.