Your Pet Loss Diaries

July 21, 2012

by Jessika
(Santa Maria, CA)

So yesterday made it a full week since I put my Ruby to sleep. I haven't cried for the past three days so I guess that is an improvement, but the hole in my heart is still there. Inside I still feel like someone kicked me in the gut. My mind will still try to play tricks on me that she's just runaway but will come home soon. Her ashes should be back within a week now and I'm trying to prepare myself to not expect anything more than just her remains of her physical self.

She was such a good girl. I miss her so much. Sometimes I swear I can still hear her whiney cries she would make when I'd come home from work or school. No matter how many times I left home for whatever reason, she'd always be there waiting for me. And I swear now that I lost her I'm seeing all sorts of people around town with their Rotties. I am not angry but jealous because they have their babies still. If I could I'd tell them all to never take for granted the time they have with them. Rottweilers typical life span from what I read is 8-10 years... I only had 4, almost 4 and a half.

My Mom put a picture of Ruby on her Facebook and wrote a short memorial for her grandbaby. It was sweet. Then I saw a comment my stepmom left of when I was 8 I had asked her if she thought dogs go to Heaven. Her answer was yes. It was comforting to be reminded of that and being reassured that my baby girl is in Heaven. Knowing Ruby, her Heaven is herding cattle, sunbathing, and all the jumbo greenies she could have... and no fleas. She left those to me LOL.