Your Pet Loss Diaries

Dec 28, 2010

by Jessica
(Pennsylvania)

Hi my boy!

Mommy's necklace came today along with a keychain that I put your cremains into both. Now you will be with me no matter where I am.

I feel those pangs and waves like I've read about and sometimes I think they are worse than the actual grieving period. I keep looking at all your pictures I have hanging around the house trying to remind myself that you were real. For 13 wonderful years you were real and you were my boy. It's still so hard to believe that you are gone.

I feel guilty if I'm not sad and upset on one day or if I'm having fun without being at home. I feel like it means that I didn't love you enough or that I don't miss you. I know it's not true because I know you're in my heart and how much I really love you, and how I miss you every single day.

My memories are all unclear right now the most vivid one is the day you passed away. I don't want to ever lose the memories, but momma has always had a bad memory, I'm so afraid that they are going to leave me and I'll have to look at your pictures to remember what you even look like. I dont want to have to do that.

I'd give anything on the face of this earth to have one more minute with you. To look into your beautiful brown eyes and tell you again just how much I love you. I wish with all my heart you could have stayed just a little longer.

All my love,

Mommy