Your Pet Loss Diaries

April 24, 2011

by Jennifer
(USA)

Hi Sugar, it's Mommy. I've not written to you here for a week or two now, but it doesn't mean I have forgotten about you. 4/11, two weeks ago, we had to say "so long", or at least, I had to let you leave your body, and go to the vet.. I hate to say, "two weeks ago, I had to put you to sleep..." I hate to say that, but, two weeks ago, we had to part in the physical form.. anyway....

I brought you back home on Wednesday in the form of a small mahogany box.. your cremains. I feel so much better that you are back home now, but it still isn't the same. It's now Easter, the day of Resurrection, and I feel you are here at home, for sure. I miss you terribly, but lighting candles on the mantel for you beside your little box and photos and the letter the vet wrote me about you, as well as the paw print of your paw that is laying next to your little box helps a lot. I still can't believe you're 'gone', at least, not here in physical form, but I feel you here,at home where you belong, truly.

This is the first time in 12 years I've been without you, but I know you're here, anyway. I just want to hold you and kiss your fur and tell you I love you, and Happy Easter.

I know you are feeling much better in spirit. And that makes me feel relieved you aren't suffering anymore from CRF, or feeling sick, or enduring your thrice-weekly subQ IV fluids I had to put you through. I hated putting you through that the past few months!

You coming into my life was definitely meant to be, divinely, and I'm so grateful for that gift. For your gift of presence in my life, and for the love you have given me. You have been my best friend in fur form. I miss you so much, but the crying and sadness has lessened a little. I can't say the hurt will go away anytime soon, and our house feels emptier, but, like I said, I still feel you are here, and that helps. Being with my boyfriend and friends and family has helped a little, and they all know how much I miss you. They miss you too. I love you so much.

So, it's time to go to bed, let's hit the sack.. see you in Dreamland, Angel.....and see you in the morning, where I will look for you resting in the sunshine on the living room floor waiting for me to wake up and feed you breakfast...