Your Pet Loss Diaries

Sep 2, 2010

by Jennifer
(Ohio)

I was in the denial stage for quite a while but now it has sunk in that Bailey is forever gone. Bailey was my first dog to pass away. As a kid I was never allowed any pets except for fish. How much love can a fish give?? Being a sibling of a severely brain damaged brother who could never communicate or respond to me, having a dog who played and loved was a miracle.

I used to try and imagine what the day would be like when I no longer had Bailey. Just the thought would get me to cry but the actual reality could never be imagined. I always imagined being there with him or finding him on the couch in a peaceful sleep but this was not how I wanted it to go.

My son was at a football game and my husband had to take him. My husband chose not to be there with him and having Bailey's last moments alone with a stranger haunts me like you wouldn't believe. I like to think that Bailey thought he was just going to the vet to get a shot or get surgery to get well and he just went in that state of mind. Not being abandoned by his owners and never knowing how much he truly meant to me, a lonely child at heart.