Your Pet Loss Diaries

Dec 8, 2012

by Gabrielle
(Scotland)

Alfie did not come into the room last night or this morning.

He was out when we prepared the cats food, but he did not eat much. I am desperately trying to get him to drink as he is not using the water fountain and hasn't gone into the bath to lick the dripping shower spray. Last night he did and got out and sat on the toilet seat.

In and out all morning. Resting in different places and then disappearing. When he is out he is obviously not interested in the birds or looking for mice. I received the liquid food at midday but he wasn't here to try it. It's supposed to be capable of being given by syringe. How could you do that.

Today it is cold, wet and dreich as we say in this part of the world. It's the kind of climate it's difficult to live through and we have five more months of it.

5 pm Alfie is not yet indoors. Josie is very twitchy. I have been out twice but no sign of him. Of course we have lots of space up and down the hill and over an acre of gardens surrounding the house. He could be in the forest and it's raining.

Leslie says he has made his decision not to be treated and to die. I am heartbroken.

LATER - I noticed Josie looking at the cat-flap. When I opened the door, there was Alfie! He came in and ate the liquid food we put down. It was not easy. Much snuffling and coughing but he seemed to want to stock up. Then he drank out of the fountain.

Looks like he is not yet ready to give up but has decided to keep out of my way. Leslie thinks we should forget the vet and just care for him till he dies. That is never easy. My Sooty behaved in this way and died in my arms but it was agony for me.

I hope my dilemmas help someone else. You feel so alone and whatever decision you make is the wrong one.