Your Pet Loss Diaries

Jan 12, 2011

by Diana
(Newmarket Ontario Canada)

My beautiful girl,

How I miss you. Yesterday was another hard day to get through. It seemed that I cried all day. I just wanted to scream to the heavens that I want and need you back. I know that can't happen, but I just can't accept yet that I won't see you or hold you, look into your beautiful eyes or feel your soft fur again. They say in time I will accept it, but I can't believe it. Some days I can look at your picture without crying and I think I might make it through this darkness, but then another day dawns and the pain is just a bad as always.

Every morning I miss you so much. I miss sharing breakfast with you. You and I used to share that time every day. You would look at me with those beautiful eyes, waiting for your little treat of toast and peanut butter. For months after I lost you, I couldn't eat toast and peanut butter. I have made some recently (maybe that is progress?) but it just wasn't the same without you.

You will laugh when I tell you that for some reason the cats have started appearing at the place you used to sit during breakfast. It's like they take turns, a different one each day. They look at me and act like they want the toast but when I give them a bit they don't eat it. Not like you my girl. You just loved your treats. I was wondering if you were somehow telling the cats to come and sit with me so I wouldn't be alone. It would be something you would do I know. You were always thinking of me and making sure I was happy. I love you so much for that my girl.

There is a very kind lady named Sun here on this site who has lost her beloved dog "Charlie". She has been so kind and has asked Charlie to find you and be your friend while you both wait for us. Sun says Charlie has beautiful eyes and a heart of gold, and so do you. So watch for that heart and for those beautiful eyes Leya, and you will know him when you see them. Let him be your friend and have fun together. You are both loved and missed so very much.

As always, my precious puppy, you will be in my heart...

Love Mommy