Your Pet Loss Diaries

Oct 28, 2012

My Sammy~Wammy is my whole world, my heart & soul. She chose me from the moment she and Her brothers & sisters first struck out on their own. She is strange and a little weird, just like me, so no one sees or feels what I do. She lays on my chest purring, with happy feet & I say to Her, 'who loves you more than me, huh?' & I swear, no matter how many times I say 'who loves you more than me, huh?' She waits until I say, 'nobody' & She rubs her head on my face & flips her head over & just goes crazy. I know She knows what I'm saying. I can say 'who loves you more than me, huh?' 3 or 4 times before I say 'nobody' & she reacts when I say nobody.

I have 2 other cats, and my brother once said ~'Rocco is very quiet, Pooh Butt is a very affectionate cat but Sammy, I don't know she's just weird' and that's true. Rocco, due to prior abuse is very quiet & Pooh Butt loves everyone but Sammy is mine, so I see the side of her no one else sees. She's my little weirdo!

I guess the part of this whole pet loss thing is that I only got to have her for 2 years. When I went out that night there was nothing different. I said to my babies before I left, 'I'll be back, be careful & I love you.' I say that every time, even if I'm just going to the store.

So, on Sunday morning when my brother called & asked if I was ready to come home, he would come pick me up, I kinda wondered why. So he gets there & we're driving home & I'm trying to have a conversation with him but he has this serious look on his face & he's not looking at me. So I'm talking, talking & finally I said 'what's going on?' & he says, still not looking at me 'sometimes happened to one of your cats. I start to panic & say 'which one?' he says Sammy. I say 'what happened?' by this time he's crying & I'm saying 'NO, NO, NO, NO. I already know the answer & I say 'she's dead, huh?' & for a split second, I expected him (I held my breath) to say she got hurt but she'll be ok but instead he says 'YES, SHE'S DEAD DAD FOUND HER THIS MORNING IN THE DRIVEWAY' I'm screaming 'NO, bill, please NO' & he's trying to hug me & he's crying saying, 'I'm so sorry'. Screams & noises came out of me I've never heard before. That's it, I passed out...

Maybe I shouldn't tell anyone this but I slept with her in a box, next to me in bed where she belongs for 2 days before I buried her. My life ended the day my brother told me Sammy was gone...