Your Pet Loss Diaries

Nov 1, 2012

It's amazing how loving someone & letting them so deep in your heart can make one forget that one day you will have to lose them.

After losing Guido in 2005, I swore to anyone who'd listen, that I would never allow myself to be as hurt as I was when he died. In his case, when he was 12 years old, an ex-boyfriend I was living with found a tiny lump on his left jaw. I took him to the vet & they ran some tests.

After about a week, I called for the results and they told me it may be cancer and referred me to a clinic that would be able to tell me for sure. I made an appointment with the clinic, where they took all these special tests and made another appointment for the following week, to get the results and go from there.

That whole week I prayed and tried to stay calm and hope for the best. My ex and I took Guido in for the results. When the doctor came in the exam room, I had Guido in my arms holding him close, with my eyes closed saying quietly to myself ~ please, be ok. Please, please. Please be ok ~ but of course when the Dr. came in and read Guido's chart, he said the tests confirmed he had cancer.

I started crying and asked if there was anything we can do? He says yes either have surgery to remove that section of his lower jaw or radiation & chemotherapy... so I look at my boyfriend who quickly says I ain't paying for any of that, then asks the Dr how much to put him to sleep. I knew I was on my own for this & the only thing I could think of to do was to get my dad's info & apply for a care credit care, which I was approved for! I chose radiation & chemo. In the end, it was a good choice & well worth it! I got 6 extra months with Guido that I wouldn't have otherwise had, I was able to let him go when it was time.

Now, with my Sammy ~ she was just 2 years old & I had no warning. She hadn't been sick, she wasn't hit by a car or attacked by another animal ~ she just dropped dead.