Your Pet Loss Diaries

Dec 24, 2012

by Dayle
(Watertown, CT)

Dear Sweet Angel...

It has been SO long that I have written. It has been crazy here. Wendy & Ziggy "got together"...exactly one year to the day of your passing. I thought to myself...maybe it is My Little Buddy coming back to me...and when the puppies came...I would know somehow. Wendy had 6 puppies...way too many for such a small girl. She wouldn't take care of herself...refused food...too focused on her babies.

Then..3 days after the births...she got mastitis. It was such a nightmare. I had to hand feed her every few hours throughout both day & night...so she could feed her babies. I was a mess myself. Not feeling well ...having RSD..but I did it Ollie.

I was SO afraid for Wendy. It made me suddenly realize that yes...I did my very very best to try to get you well too my boy. How did I ever doubt myself? I remembered only too well...how exhausted we BOTH were. And I felt as if I were re-living your last days all over again. Even running to the E.R. with Wendy...it brought back such painful memories.

Anyway sweetheart...Wendy came through it. She had 6 babies...and only 1 was a boy. He is such a lovable little thing. I call him Lover Boy. The girls tend to shun him. He has little short legs like you...and he is a good little boy. They are all just too cute. So much work though. I gave one little girl to Jim & Melissa who lost three of theirs within the past year too.

I think that somehow...in some way...you are here. It is now Christmas Eve Little Buddy...the second one without you. I put up your special tree...with your ornaments..& your beautiful face is on some of them. It made me cry to look at them. I miss you so much...& if I could have a Christmas wish...it would be to just feel you...hold you...just for a minute...if only in my dreams.

I know that my time will someday come Ollie...and I hope yours is the first face that I see. I miss you more than words could ever say. My heart has never been the same...since the day you left. Thank you for giving me so much happiness...so much love...giving me your whole life really...my darling sweet boy. You will ALWAYS be my little soulmate...we were meant to be together...forever....I love you baby boy....