Your Pet Loss Diaries

Monday Dec 8, 2008

by Dale Blake
(Oswego NY, America)

I woke up this morning still a little shakey. Wondering if I'm going to have another day in hell. I can't tell until I start moving around. I spend most of my day in a hotel bed while my Husband works which I should be with him but I just tell him it's cold or something like that. He won't argue. I go to sleep with the tv on and a nightlight on and I wake up late. I try to sleep as long as I possibly can cause I really don't want to wake up. I'm terrified what I have to face.

Yesterday I was ok trying to hold the pain at bay. But Blue was always in my mind. I'm trying so hard to live without him. He was forever by my feet, my lap, my bed. When I left he would go with me. I took hundreds of pictures of Blue, I even made a mural of him. I'm waiting for my Daughter to email me some so I can share them with you. She just had a beautiful baby boy named Blake.

She started back work today. I'm really worried about her she has to drive about 40 miles to and from. It's going to start snowing really heavy soon so I'm really nervous. I'm nervous about everything right now. Blue's death taught me anything can go wrong and I'm not liking this new lesson. I'm going to try and get of bed and move around right now and see how I feel. I'll write back before I go to bed and tell you how my day went it's noon right now.