Reading your diary is heart wrenching. I know how that feeling feels all too well. You are acting normal not crazy at all. The feelings you feel are real and in time you will learn to live with the missing him and do your daily routine. Him never being far from you heart.
The one thing I managed to do that helps was I talked to him... sounds crazy but I would look at his picture and and say out loud "Rex I will try to be happy because you hated to see me sad and I will try" and I tried everyday to find something no matter how little to smile about.. because at first I felt quilty for smiling.
I still have my breakdown moments and it hurts like he died today. I push forward for him. He knows you loved him and wanted him forever. Rex died in my arms by choice and it haunts me also to see him take his last breath. I ache, I cry and that darn feeling that don't go away until I have big shaking sobbing moments.
It will get better, I was crazy I thought that if I grieved for him and then was trying to be happy means I never loved him kinda of feeling and I felt quilty if I smiled! 3 weeks out for me and it is tough. Wishing he was here everyday! You are in my thoughts and wishing you best of luck.
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