Your Pet Loss Diaries

Nov 10, 2009

by Chris R
(Alexandria, VA)

I took a break from writing to try and come to terms. I have her photo as my background picture at work. So that I can look at her everyday. Tonight, for the first time I looked at her ashes which are in a plastic bag. I think of ashes to ashes, dust to dust, dust you came from, dust you shall return.

It has broke my heart all over again. I think I am at the stage where I am okay and the smallest something which makes me think of my little girl has me depressed.

I do not look forward to this Christmas and the others that follow. Because this was her favorite time of year. She loved me singing Christmas songs to her and she loved opening our gifts up, playing with tissue paper, more cat toys, and cat nip. Now it has no meaning, nothing in my life has meaning. How someone that small gave me joy for 7 years. And now, for the rest of my life there is no joy.

My baby is gone; 6 weeks seems eternity and if I had a moment I want my little girl in my arms to look in her eyes so that she knew like she always did that she was loved and cherished from the time she was 8 weeks till the day I join her in death...