Your Pet Loss Diaries

April 26, 2011

by Benji

Dearest Cinnamon,

I set up a memorial website for you yesterday. It was hard to do, and I shed a lot of tears while doing it, but it truly helped me. Looking at all of those pictures of you was so surreal. It made the fact that you were really gone hit me once more.

I found a picture of you when you were a puppy. You can barely see it as we didn't have a scanner when we put it on the computer - it's just a picture of a picture - and the real photo itself is old and faded, but seeing it made me think of you when you were a puppy.

It made me think of how you'd hide behind the step that led to our dining room, it made me think of how small you were, it made me think of how you loved everyone even then. I shared the memorial page with my family and they cried, but I think they needed to see it, too. I'm not sure how often I'll go back to it, but I know that it will be there if I ever need to look at it.

I'm going to light a candle for you today. For you and Chance both. I can't believe how long it's already been since I last kissed your head. Happy Easter, Cinnamon. My grieving isn't done, but I'm learning how to deal with it. One day at a time.

Still on Earth,

Your Human

P.S. Attached are all very old pictures of you. Looking at them while I was building your memorial was like seeing a ghost. Memories from a long, long time ago.