I felt like I needed to post a comment to your sad story. Everything you have just said about your loss is exactly the same thing that I am feeling.
My sad loss is my beautiful little hooded rat, my lovely little boy Rolo who died in my arms last week. I have his little blanket that I wrapped him in as he passed away, it is under my pillow. Like you I look for him every where, when I give my other rats their banana I cry because it was his favourite food.
It hurts so much that at times it gets unbearable and I feel like I'm going crazy, so my deepest sympathy is with you. I am sorry for the pain you are going through I know how it is feeling.
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