by Jessica
(Meshoppen, PA)
I adopted my Mickey when he was a 2 day old puppy, his momma passed away and she was my mothers dog and didn't know what to do with the puppies. So, I took two of them on and raised them until they were ready to be given to good homes. Well Mickey who was then Minnie because he was too little for me to tell if he was a boy or girl, captured my heart immediately. He was actually the runt of the family and I fell hard for that little bugger. Soon they became big enough to go and my boyfriend at the time didn't want to keep "Minnie" so I brought him back to my mom, and told her promise to keep her I'll be back for her. For two weeks straight I bawled my eyes out until he finally said "go get the da** dog". I rushed straight to my mom's house and cried out "Minnie, Minnie, Minnie" he came running and I knew he was mine.
Then of course I realized My Minnie was actually a little boy, so I changed his name to Mickey. I loved him so much he was my everything. We eventually moved out of my ex's house back to my childhood home and we have lived together and done everything together ever since. He loved so much to go with me in the car and went everywhere with me. He gave me quite a few scares healthwise but he was such a strong little boy and pulled through with flying colors. He became paralyzed due to hip displaysia earlier this year and I got him a wheelchair to get around in. I look at the videos of him in it his first day and how I laugh he was all happy and going backwards. He loved to swim, I took him swimming in it and he ran right into the creek with his little Kart on.
He was my constant companion and my life is so difficult without him. I revolved my world around this precious little boy and as you all know that may be reading this losing them is one of the hardest things we will ever face.
Wednesday the 3rd of November Mickey had a tummy ache I didnt think anything of it, it happens. Thursday he seemed better ate his double cheeseburgers and seemed happy. Friday the 5th was the worst day of my life. I came home from work and he didn't even want to get out of bed. I knew just knew that he wasn't going to stay with me throughout the weekend. I carried him into the living room and he drank his water, and cried he lost his bark. I called my grandmother and said Mickey's dying. She rushed right up. Her and my mother sat here with me for a few hours and he seemed more responsive. Drinking good but refused to eat. After they left me and Mickey talked and I told him we had to get our pictures taken the following weekend and if he still didn't feel too good by Monday we'd have to go to see the vet. He layed there content but not real responsive.
I knew in my heart he wasn't going to stay and I asked him to not make me decide for him if it was time to go, I told him I loved him more than anything but that would be too hard for mommy to decide. I told him how much he meant to me and how good of a boy he's always been and that he was never a burden to mommy. About an hour later he left me. I watched my boy die and it's a vision that will stay with me forever. I seen his spirit leave him and seen him just lay there non responsive eyes open wide not blinking and just panting. Later his body left me as well.
I never felt such agony. This was my child, my life for 13 years, I never imagined he would leave. It never crossed my mind. He was so full of life his eyes always had such life and joy in them even after death. He loved life, he loved me.
I slept in the living room with him Friday night just so I could feel his presence and be next to him, I still have a hard time sleeping in my bed without him next to me. I talked to him all night. I still talk to him. Saturday I took him to be cremated, I cried my eyes out as I carried him for our last car ride together.
Monday night I was home and started taking some random pictures, I had always heard that if you take pictures you may be able to see spirits. I wanted to see if I could still see Mickey. I'm losing his scent in the house, once in a while it's strong in certain spots and other times it's not there at all. So, I had taken a picture in my bedroom pitch black only my flash. Looked at the picture and sent it to my mom without saying anything but look in the mirror. She sent me back a message and said "Wow mickey's in the mirror". I will admit it scared me at first, but now it's almost comforting to know he's still with me and it confirmed my hopes that I will see my boy again.
I have since shown that picture to numerous people who say the same thing. I have analyzed that picture trying to figure out what among the shadows would make it look like my boy laying in my bed and I cannot. My sister showed it to several people who didn't know my boy died and didn't say a word to them and it's unaminous it's my boy plain as day laying in a relection in the mirror. My bed is empty but he is there.
I picked up his ashes last Thursday it was rough. I took some of them to the creek to spread as he loved it so much.
I have since then consulted with a pet psychic, I wanted to find out why Mickey left me, could I have saved him and failed him what happened to him. She told me it was his heart and that it wasn't strong anymore. She also told me he never left me and some other things that I found comforting, she said if you feel your bed move it's him sleeping with you, I thought again about my picture. She said he'll be seeing you in your dreams and sure enough I dreamed of my boy that night. I do not remember that dream but I remember waking up and very strongly thing about Mickey.
Thinking back on the past couple months I have had a reoccuring dream of my boy running through a green meadow and I wasn't there, I could see him clearly but I wasn't with him. I told a few people of this dream, now I wonder if it was a premonition of what was to come. I am convinced that he is still with me, she told me to look for him in the back yard and my kitchen and sometimes I can smell him so strongly in my kitchen.
The night I came home from work for the first night by myself after Mickey had passed I dreaded it was horrible but I came home and instantly felt a sense of peace.
I am now a believer in the Rainbow Bridge and that my boy will be with me forever in spirit, I miss his physical presence so much that it's not much of a comfort to only have his spirit. But I do know we will be reuninted again.
RIP my beautiful baby boy, life will never be the same without you. You will always be the best part of mommy and you will always be in my heart. Till we meet again.
Mickey 09/07/97-11/05/10
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