by Julie
(Colorado)
My beautiful 17-year-old torbie cat Daisy passed away suddenly on December 19 as I was getting ready for bed. I heard a strange cry and I ran looking for her. When I found her, she was on her side and not breathing. I gave her CPR and rescue breathing, but she was gone. I was devastated. It was a heart attack or a stroke, and I held her and held her, singing a special song I'd made for her.
I didn't sleep at all that night and the next day I cried, sobbed, howled in pain all day. There was a hole in my heart as big as a whale and my grief poured into it. Exhausted, I went to bed that night and finally fell asleep. In the middle of the night, at 2:16 a.m. (I looked at my clock), I woke up because Daisy jumped on my bed and curled up in the crook of my arm! It was pitch black so I couldn't see her, but I could feel her body and hear her purring. I asked her what she was doing there, how could she be there, but she just purred. I petted her, rubbed her belly and buried my face in her soft, warm fur. I wasn't sad, just surprised. I knew she was gone, but here she was, and I cherished every moment. After a few minutes, she stood up and I petted her one last time, then she jumped off the bed.
Daisy knew how much I needed her that night and she let me know that I'd done everything I could have done for her, that it had just been her time. She'd had some medical issues and now there would be no more pills, no more stressful visits to the vet. She'd always hated the vet's office so she was happy that when it was time for her to leave this world and live in the exquisite beauty of the world beyond, she'd been in the home she loved so much and when she called, I came and was with her when she passed over the Rainbow Bridge.
She's still here, too, at least for a little while longer. My roommate, who loves Daisy as much as I do, was away for the holidays when Daisy left us and she'll be home tomorrow. I still hear rustlings in the house in my friend's bedroom and by her desk, so I know Daisy's waiting for her to come home so she can say goodbye.
I can still remember the day, 11 years ago, that we brought Daisy home from the shelter. She changed my life and I tried to always be there for her. And I learned that even though she's gone, she's there for me too. I still cry every day for her, but I'm starting to be able to look at pictures and smile through the tears.
I love you, sweet baby. I always have, and I always will. Thank you for coming to live with us, and for every beautiful, gentle moment you shared. I'll never forget you.
To all who read this who have lost someone you love, may you find peace and hope and love. They do not die, so long as we remember them. They live in our hearts and our spirit, and they are there for us still.
All my love,
Julie